January 31, 1951 ~ July 5, 2026

Diane Okrent, (1951-2026)
WHS Class of 1969
as remembered by Daniel Okrent

I lost my sister in July of this year (2026). She was 75 and had been battling cancer for more than four years. She maintained an upbeat, optimistic attitude throughout. She was cared for by Memorial Sloan Kettering (MSK) and she sang their praises. I am grateful for the four years that she lived because the type of cancer that she had (peritoneal cancer) has an average life expectancy of 11 months.

Diane was 2 years and 8 months my senior, the first-born child of my parents. She was born in Brooklyn in 1951. Our family moved to Wantagh in January, 1956 when she was just turning 5. Like me, she was the product of the Wantagh Public Schools. In Kindergarten and First Grade, (1956-58), she was schooled in the four-room schoolhouse on Beech Street, which later became the school district’s administration building. She was transferred to the then-new Mandalay School for grades 2 – 6 (1958-63). She studied hard in high school and was inducted into the National Honor Society. She was also a member of United Synagogue Youth (USY) a social program for Jewish teens. She was a very proud alumna of Smith College, a Seven Sisters school. She majored in English. Many years after she graduated from Smith, she earned an MBA from NYU at night. She also wrote poetry and won the Elizabeth Babcock poetry prize while at Smith. She started horseback-riding lessons at age 6 or 7 and became an accomplished rider. At Smith, she was taking jumping lessons. At sleepaway camp, we had riflery and, with her excellent eyesight, she was one of the best shots in camp. She also studied piano as a child and I would often sing with her piano accompaniment. She loved classical music and was a regular attendee at the New York Philharmonic and at Tanglewood.

Diane was a resident of Manhattan from college graduation until her death. After college, she had a successful career at CBS, working in television research. Her department showed CBS previews to test audiences and obtained their reactions before deciding to air a particular show. After several promotions, she rose from Program Information Assistant to Director of Television Research – New York. Only her boss in California was higher in CBS’ Television Research Dept. At CBS, she met her future husband, Aaron Shelden. They were married in 1985 until her death this year. After CBS, Diane worked in advertising. At Wunderman, an advertising agency, she worked with a woman named Susan Rock and they became good friends. Diane introduced Susan to our brother Russ. Then in their early 30’s, Russ and Susan hit it off, were married in 1991, and celebrated their 35th anniversary this year. And Diane was the matchmaker. Following her career in advertising, Diane started her own market research firm. It was a one-woman show that she ran out of her apartment, but it was a success from the start and it kept her busy for the last three decades of her life.

Diane and I agreed that our Jewish education at the Wantagh Jewish Center (Grades 1 to 8) was not good and we didn’t learn much for the time spent. The curriculum was poorly designed and the teachers were uninspiring—they also taught in yeshivas and did not understand the mindset of kids who attended secular schools. Some topics in Hebrew School were repeated ad nauseam; other important topics were not even touched. Some topics, like the fine details of Jewish history, were introduced too early and at too young an age.

Diane also resented the fact that Bat Mitzvahs (for girls) at the time were a much smaller
celebration than Bar Mitzvahs for boys. For the girls, a short Friday evening service would
suffice, followed by a brief cake-and-tea reception (Oneg Shabbat) in the synagogue’s social hall. For boys, it was a big Saturday affair: a long morning service followed by a catered luncheon, sometimes with music and dancing, or even a catered dinner-dance on Saturday night. For the rest of her life, Diane resented that the girls were given short shrift, even though they went through the same Jewish education as the boys. Today, the two celebrations are equivalent, but for most of Jewish history, until the mid-20 th century, there was no such thing as a Bat Mitzvah for girls; there were only Bar Mitzvahs for boys.

Both Diane and I attended the optional Confirmation Class (Grades 9 and 10) and I learned more about my religion in those two years than in the previous eight. And it was Diane who encouraged me to enroll in Confirmation Class. Most religions are historically male chauvinist and Judaism is no exception. And Diane was an ardent feminist. She wanted equality in the synagogue and in all aspects of life. In 1989, a Conservative egalitarian synagogue was founded on the Upper East Side of Manhattan, where Diane lived. She joined the congregation shortly after it was formed. At Or Zarua (Hebrew for
“the light is sown”), women could be called to the Torah, could lead the service, and could be equal to men in all respects. Years later, Diane was tapped to serve as the congregation’s president. Before she decided whether to accept the post, she called both of her brothers and asked us for our opinion. Russ and I both gave her an enthusiastic green light. After all, she had served on virtually every committee in her synagogue. And she was also at the right age: neither too old nor too young at the time. There was no one more appropriate or more qualified to be president. Or Zarua’s president is technically elected for a year, but it’s traditional at Or Zarua to serve for three years, and she did. Two presidents later, the then-president’s husband got sick about a year into her term, so guess who they tapped to serve out the rest of her three-year term? I called my sister the Grover Cleveland of Or Zarua because she served two non-consecutive terms. In December, 2025, Or Zarua held a fund-raising dinner for their 36 th anniversary (multiples of 18 are significant in Jewish life). All of the past presidents were honored, including Diane. The dinner tickets were expensive, but my brother and I attended with our wives, as I knew that it would most likely be the last time in her life thatour sister would be honored. And it was. Diane also decided to do something about her below-par Jewish education. During her time at Or Zarua, she took courses at the Jewish Theological
Seminary (JTS), a rabbinical seminary in New York that also offered courses to the public.

Diane is survived by her husband, Aaron Shelden, a son, Victor Shelden, daughter-in-law Emily Nhaissi, and two grand-daughters: Shiri, 3, and Ella, 1. She is also survived by her brother, Russell Okrent (WHS Class of 1975), and his wife, Susan Rock Okrent, nieces Rachel and Rebecca Okrent, and myself (WHS Class of 1971) and my wife, Pauline Andrews.